The final weeks of school are grueling but, for those of us who have to return, summer begins in eight days, nine hours, three minutes and counting. The best way to relax over the break is to spend as much time as possible in the sun, leaving your education safely in a dim corner of your room. Adults call this “summer learning loss,” but you and I know this blissful state is simply summer.

Parents and educators present summer learning loss as inevitable, but forgetting everything you ever learned in school actually requires hard work. Sure, the z-axis and preterite perfect tense will fade quickly, but the rest lingers like a stain on your favorite top. To obliterate the remaining knowledge, follow some or all of these tips:

• Avoid intellectual conversations by discussing your favorite TV shows that have absolutely no original plot elements.
• Develop a severe allergy to any educational experiences. 
• Embrace napping.
• Read age-inappropriate books. (Think “Garfield,” “Big Nate” or whatever you read when you were approximately half your current age.)
• Consume maximal ice cream, popsicles, shaved ice, sorbet, gelato and other yummy frozen things. Brain freeze accelerates learning loss.
• Make up for lost screen time.

As adults like to remind us every single chance they get, you learn something new every day, and this is true during summer learning loss as well. 

Summer gains include swimming in refreshingly cold water, admiring wildflowers, exploring new places on a whim, pursuing your true interests and having a social life.

If you get accused of being lazy, remind the haters that sloths are some of the cutest animals on Earth. They know what’s important—sleeping and eating.

Fellow students, if during finals you find yourself wondering whether the strange pattern forming on your Scantron means you’re flunking science, you must persevere, because 82 learning-free days lie ahead. To the teachers, good luck with whatever it is you do after we leave, whether that is putting your favorite rubrics in gold frames, inhaling the scent of freshly graded tests or discussing your true feelings about us.

At summer’s end, the only test you need to pass is “Did you have fun?”