Note: This article discusses eating disorders, emotional abuse, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.
Many people first learned about Mary Cain through the 2019 New York Times op-ed video, “I Was the Fastest Girl in America, Until I Joined Nike.” In the video, Cain spoke out about the emotional abuse and pressure to lose weight that she experienced while competing for the Nike Oregon Project (NOP), a professional distance running team she joined at age 16. However, her story extends far beyond that video.
In April, Cain published a memoir titled This Is Not About Running. She wrote the book herself because she felt strongly about sharing her own perspective on her running career. Cain describes the memoir as a story “about how sports normalizes the abuse of young athletes.” Her account is compelling not only because she was an exceptionally talented runner, but also because she remains thoughtful and respectful even when describing people who mistreated her.
Cain’s writing style is particularly effective. The memoir is written in short, present-tense chapters that focus on carefully chosen moments from her life. Rather than overexplaining events, she allows readers to experience situations alongside her, whether she is describing a championship race or a difficult conversation with a teammate. This approach creates an immersive reading experience and makes the emotional impact of the story even stronger.
Although the memoir contains moments of happiness and success, much of Cain’s experience is deeply painful. After feeling isolated by members of her high school team, she hoped to find a supportive environment at NOP. Instead, she encountered abuse from members of the coaching staff, even after disclosing her struggles with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Throughout the memoir, Cain emphasizes that the abuse she experienced was not simply the result of one individual’s actions but part of a larger systemic problem. While she places some responsibility on her NOP coach, Alberto Salazar, she also points out that many people witnessed the mistreatment and chose not to intervene. Those who attempted to help were often ignored or pushed aside by individuals in positions of authority. Cain argues that abusive coaching practices continue to exist in many athletic programs and that removing a single coach is not enough to create meaningful change. Instead, the broader structures and culture of sports must be reformed.
Although Cain’s experiences may seem far removed from those of most high school athletes, the issues she raises are highly relevant. The youth sports systems she advocates for changing are the same systems that many student-athletes participate in today.
As a runner, I often train with Lincoln’s cross-country team through Nike World Headquarters. One thing that has always stood out to me is how few buildings are named after women. Only four buildings bear women’s names, while roughly twenty are named after male athletes. After reading Cain’s memoir, this imbalance takes on new significance and raises important questions about who holds power in sports and why. If we want the culture of youth athletics to improve, those in leadership positions must make policy decisions that prioritize athletes’ well-being alongside competitive success.
